Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
