you would pick up someone in the library
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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