he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize