he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
