She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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