K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
