yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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