yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
