I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
