sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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