Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
