My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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