i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you never un-have a 4some
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
