And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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