But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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