This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
