my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
