you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
