Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
