I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
