So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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