I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
