I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
