Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
