how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
