im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
