We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
