what if every blade of grass was a penis?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
please don't ironically join a cult
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