I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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