have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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