i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
