Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
