Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
