Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dick very happy bro
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
