The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
they're like a gay fantastic four
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
