dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
