It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
