I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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