the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
two words...techno handjob
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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