well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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