You really coming over, don't trick.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
