She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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