so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize