porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
