I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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