Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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