like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
