is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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