The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
