Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize