still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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