your parents love me but you hate me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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