i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
