I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize