okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
