I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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