I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
