OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
