Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just high enough for therapy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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