my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
