): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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