i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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