I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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